Retirement Talk
WHAT to do with the rest of your life? |
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Episode 083 Does
retirement call for a dermatologist?
Last week my wife and I went to a dermatologist for a skin
scan. A friend of ours who has had skin cancers removed for over thirty years
insisted that we do this. He claimed that it went with retirement. The
dermatologist found us cancer free, but at the same time opened the lid to a
vat of liquid nitrogen and dipped a cotton swab into it. Without a word he
started pressing this super cold swab against our faces: a dot here and a dot
there. He must have hit a dozen spots. He said they were “precancerous
colorations” and he was just being cautious. He said they would turn red,
perhaps blister and then peal off in a couple of weeks. It doesn’t make one
look like a model. Years ago it would have been of real concern. But, retired
and older, it doesn’t seem to matter. It is just another step in the process of
life. I like to think of them as “beauty marks”.
This is Retirement Talk. I’m Del Lowery.
“Beautiful people” dominate our advertisement and entertainment
industry. We see the million dollar smile everywhere – right along with
coffered hair, sculpted bodies, and the latest styles – fashion stuff. We spend
years of our lives on this quest for beauty. Getting older has this one giant
benefit over youth. We are wiser, or at least we should be. The concept of
beauty migrates from being all physical to character and inner attributes.
My wife used to cruise the department stores and fashion
boutiques looking for something magical that would send a message to the world.
She doesn’t do that any more. It is rare that she wanders the aisle shifting
hangers from left to right examining all of the latest styles and colors. I’d
say she has moved to a higher level. Most of her clothing now comes from
recreational sporting stores, or from birthday or Christmas gifts.
This obsession with physical beauty starts young and runs
long. We like to dress our children and grandchildren in pretty little clothes.
We shower them with “new” stuff. I can never understand it when I see all of
these stores with used clothing. I keep thinking that the kids don’t really
care nor know the difference between new and used. Is it any wonder that be the
time they hit junior high they are looking for the latest colors or fashion? By high school the desire is all-consuming. I
remember having “hand-me-downs” given to me that were in perfectly good
condition. Except --- except they were out of style. Thus they were
unacceptable.
Then there was the mirror. "Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who’s the fairest of them all?” It is a wonder that mirrors don’t wear out.
Hours spent staring at oneself. I can
only assume it is universal. The nose is too long, short, flat, or wide. The
hair is too thin, thick, long, short, black or blond. The skin is too fair,
dark, or swarthy. You’re too short, tall, skinny, or fat. The list is endless. I
think it is the advertisers whose goal is to make us uncomfortable with how we
look so that we will buy something else. There's money to be made.
Probably the most important aspect of this obsession with 'looking
good’ is the self concept that is created. One becomes self-assured or lacking
in self-esteem based entirely on physical appearance. We have all seen this
myth shattered. We learn that there is more to a person than 'looking good'.
Getting older seems to offer this huge advantage to life. We can see past the
nose on our face – and others.
I remember seeing the painting of Peter Paul Rubens and the
rotund women that he painted. Today we would call them heavy or fat. Society
does not think of them as being beautiful. But they were in his day. In an
anthropology class I learned of huge women considered having the most beautiful
body type on some islands in the South Pacific. Experiencing life helps refocus
our minds on what we considered beautiful.
Basing life on physical beauty has its own built-in flaw.
The more one values and cherishes their youthful appearance, the more
disappointing the later days of life must become. Age is a great equalizer: the
wrinkles come; the posture changes – gravity wins; the hair thins; skin looses
elasticity. Other physical changes are impossible to halt. Oh, some people try
with cosmetic surgery, toupees, injections, etc. They may help some – for a
short time. But for most of us – we accept age and the 'look' that comes with
it.
Those that age gracefully are those that still smile and
have a sense of self and where they are in the total picture. They radiate life
and a positive view of all the days of their lives. They are at home in new
clothes or old. They are at home – period. They have learned to accept the truth
of inner beauty. Their eye still has a sparkle; a certain zest. They probably
have had this sense of life being interesting from very early on. They are
inquisitive and still able to marvel at the world. The clothes, the nose, the
skin, and the teeth become secondary to the heart or mind.
This is retirement talk.
A resource from a listener: Best Free Online Degrees for Seniors guide is designed to assist seniors who aspire to enhance their intellect or consider starting a new career path. It features an overview of the top online degrees for seniors, emphasizing their numerous advantages, and a broad range of subjects to choose from.
A friend's website: Terra Firma Designs: Fine Furniture, Stained Glass and woodworking workshops.
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